Azkaban's Cell Block Tango
by Kunoichi-neechan
Summary: And now we have the six Merry Murderesses of the Azkaban Prison Island in their rendition of the "Cell Block Tango."
1. Susan's Entrance

A/N: I own none of the characters.

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><p><em>Pop… Six… Squish… Uh-uh… Cicero… Lipshitz<em>

Miss Susan Bones walked through the dark dank halls of Azkaban, tugging her trench coat tighter around her fragile frame. _What am I doing here?_ She wondered, thinking to herself as she passed some of the zombie-like prisoners. If it wasn't for her patronus, she would most likely be like one of those behind steel bars. Thank Circe that she wasn't like the people she was here to interview.

Susan Bones now worked for the Daily Prophet and she was an article writer assigned to document the lives and the reasons of the famous good Hogwarts girls turned bad witches. She was surprised to hear about them in the news, seeing their names make headline news but apparently that wasn't enough to appease their readers. Who better to extract the details than one of their very own. Susan still couldn't believe her classmate would do something like that.

They were good girls, she would know. She went to Hogwarts with. They were her friends, classmates, even those who traveled from foreign lands for the Goblet of Fire tournament. They were lovely girls and yet somehow they ended in the biggest and baddest prison the world has ever created.

Turning the right corner, she followed the guard that led a separate wing for the merry murderess of the wizarding world. The non-stop rain here gave the atmosphere an even darker overcast, the faint dripping sound echoing throughout the quiet of the cells. Their footsteps a steady beat, mingling in harmony with the soft sound of raindrops. The steady rapping of fingertips tapping against the steel bars began to unnerve her. It was too quiet in this place as if the prisoners were expecting her and was waiting for the prey to give away her position.

"This is the first of the Merry Murderess…" The warden stated, stopping in front of a rusted barnacale encrusted cell door.

"Cho Chang, you got a visitor."


	2. Pop

A/N: I own none of the characters.

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><p><em>Pop… <em>

Susan walked into the cell, watching as the thin Asian girl sat in the corner on the wooden bench held up by chains. One of her legs was folded near her chest while the other dangled off of the edge of the wooden board. "Cho…" she breathed out slowly, sitting on the opposite bench listening to it creak underneath her weight.

"I suppose you're here to get the story, right?" She spoke, her voice cold as the iron bars holding her in. Her dark ebony hair was now stringy against her skull and her ivory skin was smeared with dirt. The rough burlap clothes she wore hung loose on her skinny frame. The famed Ravenclaw Seeker was no more. Susan saw none of her previous traits within this new woman. That scared her to know that people could change that much…

"Y-Yes…" She stammered, pulling out a notepad and a quick quill from her pockets and sat at attention for her to start. "Can you tell me what happened and why you're in here, Cho?"

Cho sneered, scoffing at her polite mannerism. "Knock it off, Bones." She jeered at the reporter. "I know the routine. I use to be a reporter too, you know. Best in my trade and was on the way up the ladder until I landed myself in the joint." She let out a harsh laugh. "He had it coming…."

"You were with Cedric at the time, weren't you?" Susan asked somewhat meekly.

Cho turned to glare at her with icy eyes. "You wanna know the story, Bones? I'll tell you the damn story."

_It was the usual day at work. Getting scream at by the boss for not writing a good enough article to print, spilling coffee on myself thanks to some clumsy newbies we've hired, having to fight for a place within my office because other people don't know the meaning of privacy. This job was hell on earth and yet I still endured the pain because I loved this job. It's been my one greatest dream to work for Daily Prophet. I just never knew that the pressure would've gotten to me._

_It all started with that one day. This little bitchy newbie stole my article and turned it into the big boss, giving her all the credit and leaving me with nothing. I was more than pissed off. Because of my missed deadline, I was sent home for "inefficient work." Inefficient, me. That was the first time I ever heard that word use in the same sentence with my name in it._

_Well, it was more than safe to say that I was a little bit irritated and I come home from work looking for a bit of sympathy._

"Cho, is that you?"

Cedric's voice floated through the well-furnished. Cho looked more than dishelved as she dropped her brown leather bag on the white tiled floor. She kicked off her loafers and immediately went straight for the kitchen. She hasn't eaten since yesterday and would probably kill someone for a hamburger. "Cho! Answer me!" He barked out. Cho gritted her teeth at his coldness, wincing as she heard the snapping of his stupid piece of gum.

_You know how some people have these really annoying habits that get you down? Well Cedric had one. He liked to chew gum. No, not chew…. POP. He chews it all the time, some sort of way to calm him down or something._

POP, went his gum. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Cho's irritated ears. "Cedric," She called out in a strained voice. "Can you please not do that… honey?" She asked, grabbing the door frame as she saw him there in the living room. He was lying on the couch, snapping and popping his gum while drinking a bottle of firewhiskey and watching a game on the telly.

"Do what?" He asked, popping his gum at her again. Cedric barely looked up from his game to see that his girlfriend was twitching, trying hard to repressed the urge to strangle him.

"Popping your gum…" She growled through gritted teeth. He just pretended that he didn't hear her, popping the gum once more just to further irritate her. Cho pushed herself off the door frame and stormed through the living room stopping in front of the telly, kicking the television off the stand. The TV crashed onto the floor, shattering into useless parts.

Cedric shot up from his seat, his hands gesturing at the broken TV. "What did you do that for?" He shouted at her.

"I swear," She started, "If you pop that gum… one more time…." She threatened. Cedric lifted himself off the couch and took a step towards her, an annoyed and angry expression on his face.

_I told him if you pop that gum one more time…. **Sigh** and he did. I took one of those oriental guns off the wall and…. Well, I didn't know it was loaded but then who cares. I fired of two warning shots…._

_Into his head._

Cedric was left there on the ground, bleeding profusely without moving. Cho just simply dumped the gun onto his lifeless body and moved to grab his bottle of firewhiskey. "Told you…" She sneered, taking a large swig of alcohol.

"So you killed him because he chewing his gum?" Susan asked, writing all the details down.

"NOT chewing… POPPING." She snapped at the little reporter. "He had it coming. He only had himself to blame." Cho leered at her. "If you had been there, if you had heard it…." She spoke with a smirk upon her dirt stained features, "I bet you… you would have done the same."

Susan cleared her throat, standing up quickly as she exited the cell. "Thank you for your time, Miss Chang."

"Awww, what? No more Cho?" She snickered, her fingers wrapping around the freezing iron bars. "I'll be waiting for that article, Bones. If it's not up to snuff…" She made a pistol with her fingers and aimed it at Susan's head. "Boom." She smirked.

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><p>AN: I'm so sorry if this was sort of confusing. I kept switching back from Cho's story to the actual events. o


End file.
